We document here below, the personal testimony of John Wesley (1703-1791), the spiritual father of more than 35 denominations and movements including Methodist, Pentecostal, Nazarene, Holiness, renewal and charismatic groups.

Many comforters assured me that I had faith. As a Wesley, I was supposed to have faith. I was an ordained minister from a family of ministers. My brother, father, grandfathers, and a great-grandfather were all ministers. I was ordained at the age of twenty-two. I received my Master of Arts degree from Oxford, England. I preached on faith to the faculty and students at St. Mary's Church, Oxford. But I did not have the faith which I wanted and knew that I needed. This faith by the power of the Holy Spirit would come to me later. Then I would be able to lead many into the same powerful spiritual experience.

I had a sort of faith during my early life. But the devils also have a sort of faith. Still, neither they nor I received the faith of the covenant of promise. Even the apostles had a sort of faith when they were first with Jesus in Cana. Then and there, they "believed on him" in a way. But they did not yet have the faith which overcomes the world.

The faith I wanted was a sure trust and confidence in God. I wanted to experience forgiveness from my sins and a oneness with God through the work of Jesus. I wanted to be returned to God through the faith Paul wrote about, especially in his letter to the Romans. Like him, I wanted a faith which would enable me to say,
"It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20).

I wanted a faith which no one can have without knowing he has it. Many imagine they have this type of faith, but do not. My comforters imagined I had it, but I did not. I remained miserable in their poor comfort.

Everyone possessing this true faith is free from sin. The whole body of sin in him is destroyed. He is free from fear, receiving peace through Jesus while rejoicing in hope of the glory of God. He is free from doubt, having the love of God shed abroad in his heart through the Holy Spirit which is given to him. He is assured that he is truly a child of God through the witness which the Holy Spirit bears in the heart of the faithful.

Having preached about this true faith, I was sure of its substance. I knew that I was yet to attain such a faith. In order to find this faith, I contracted to serve as a missionary. I was not searching for any financial gain in missionary work. God had given me many material blessings already. I was not seeking any honour. Purely and simply, I was seeking to live wholly to the glory of God and to save my own soul.

By God's grace, I was able to have direct witness of this living faith through a group of Germans soon after leaving for the mission field. There were twenty-six of these unusual Christians on the ship.

In mid-ocean, we encountered three violent storms in rapid succession. All the passengers, except these Germans, were in fear for their lives. I had to ask myself, since I was so unwilling to die,
"How is it that I have no faith?"

The third storm, a hurricane, hit at noon on Sunday. By four it was more violent than any of the other storms. The winds roared and whistled all around us. The ship rocked to and fro with great violence. It shook and jarred with an unequal, grating motion, so that no one could stand without holding on. Shocks came every ten minutes. It seemed as if those shocks would tear the ship apart.

At seven I made my way into the quarters of the Germans. I had already observed the seriousness of their behaviour. They gave continual proof of their humility. They willing to do the most menial tasks rejected by others, and take no pay. They would say of the tasks performed,
"It was good for their proud hearts."
And also,
"Their loving Saviour had done more for them."

Every day was another occasion of showing a meekness which no affront or insult could remove. If they were mistreated, they went away without a complaint. I wanted to see if they had been freed from fear. I knew they were delivered from pride, anger, and revenge. But what about fear?

They began their services with a psalm. In the middle of the service, a great wave rolled over the ship. It covered the deck and poured down inside as if the ship were about to sink. A terrible scream came from the other passengers, but the Germans calmly sang on. I asked one of them afterwards,
"Were you not afraid?"
He answered,
"I thank God I was not."
"But were your women and children afraid?"
"No. Our women and children are not afraid to die"
he replied mildly.

After that I tried to watch their behaviour as often as possible. They were always busy, usefully employed, cheerful, and in good humor. They had done away with all strife, anger, bitterness, clamor, and evil-speaking. They walked and lived as true witnesses of Christ.

A contrast to their meekness was the impression which I gave to some. One man was particularly cold toward me. I asked him the reason for this. He gave me a detailed reply.
"I like nothing you do. All your sermons are satires upon particular persons; therefore, I will never hear you again; and all the people are of the same mind, for we won't hear ourselves abused. Besides, they say they are Protestants. But as for you, they cannot tell of what religion you are. They never heard such a religion before. They do not know what to make of it. And your private behaviour: All the quarrels that have been here since you came, have been long your making. Indeed, there is neither man nor woman in the town who minds a word you say. And so you may preach long enough, but nobody will come to hear you."

After two years of poor results in this chosen work, I thought it was time to leave the mission field. I took a ship home. On the return, I had much private time to think about my Christianity. Had this solitude helped me to become more Christian? Not if Jesus Christ is the model of Christianity!

My mind was full of thoughts. Some I wrote in my journal. I became a missionary to convert the heathens; but oh, who shall convert me? Who, what, is He who will deliver me from this evil heart of unbelief? I have a fair summer religion. I can talk well, and believe myself while no danger is near. But let death look me in the face, and my spirit is troubled.

Then on the last evening aboard ship, I wrote this review of my situation.
"It is now two years and almost four months since I left my native country in order teach heathens the nature of Christianity. But what have I learned myself in the meantime? Why, what I least expected! I went to the mission field to convert others, but was never myself converted to God. I am not mad, though I speak, but I speak words of truth and soberness; if haply some of those who still dream may awake and see, that as I am. Were they not students of philosophy? So was I. Were they not students in ancient and modern languages? So was I, also. Are they informed in the field of theology? I too have studied it for many years. Can they talk fluently about spiritual things? I could do the very same thing. Are they generous in their giving alms? I gave all that I had to feed the poor. Do they give of their time as well as of their money? I have labored more than them all. Are they willing to suffer for others? I have given up my friends, reputation, comfort, and country. I have put my life at stake wandering in strange lands. I have risked my life at sea, been parched with heat, consumed by work and weariness, or whatever it pleased God to allow upon me. But does all this make me more acceptable to God? Does all I ever did or can know, say, give, do, or suffer justify me in His sight? By no means! If the words of God are true, all these things, though holy, just, and good when enriched by faith in Christ, are worthless without such faith and good only to be consumed by the fire that shall never be quenched. This is what I have learned in travels and services. I am fallen short of the glory of God. My whole heart is altogether corrupt and abominable. As a result, my whole life cannot produce good fruit because I am an evil tree. I am alienated from the life of God as a child of anger, an heir of hell. My own works, my own sufferings, my own righteousness are far from reconciling me to God whom I have offended. These make no atonement for the least of my sins, and my sins are more numerous than the hairs on my head. I know in my heart there is nothing in or of myself which can plead an earning of God's mercy. I have no hope except of being justified, saved freely through the redemption that is in Jesus alone."

My only hope is that if I seek Jesus, I shall find Christ. Then I shall be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, based on law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.

There are many reasons to thank God for the missionary work, even though my plans were not fulfilled. By this experience, He had humbled me and shown me what was truly in my heart. I learned to be more cautious about men. I am now sure that if we trust God in all our ways, He will surely direct our paths in this world. One side effect was that I became free from my fear of the sea, a fear troubling me since my youth.

And equally important, I was able to meet and know many of His true servants. During this time, I learned the languages of German, Spanish, and Italian. I believed some good use would come of this in the future.

Within a week of my return home, God sent three more German Christians who had faith which I sought. One of them, Peter Bohler, was to lead both my brother Charles and me into this new faith. I was able to spend much time with Peter.

With regards to my own life, I wrote down and renewed all the resolutions of my life;
1. I would use absolute openness and candor in all my conversation.
2. I would continually seek to be serious, not willingly participating in levity or laughter even for a moment.
3. I would never speak unless it tended to the glory of God. In particular, I would not talk of worldly things. Others may, some must. That would be of no concern to me.
4. I would engage in no activity for pleasure unless it tended to the glory of God. I wanted to thank God at all times and for all things. Therefore, I must reject all activities which I believe I could not so thank Him in and for.

In my discussion with Peter Bohler, I was amazed by his accounts of a living faith. He insisted that the fruits of holiness and happiness were part of such a faith. I went back to my Greek New Testament to verify his claims. I resolved to accept the testimony of the Scriptures. I was sure that God would direct my search. He would show me whether this doctrine was of Him.

Even though I did not yet have this living faith, I began to speak about it in public. I went into the prison to preach to the condemned. I prayed with a condemned man. He knelt down with much heaviness and confusion. He arose in cheerfulness.
"I am ready to die. I know Christ has taken away my sins. There is no more condemnation for me."
he eagerly reported. As he was taken to his execution, he continued in the same composed cheerfulness. In his last moments he was the same. He enjoyed perfect peace, assured that he was accepted in Jesus.

On my next visit with Peter, I assured him I had no objections about his claims on the nature of faith. I agreed that faith is a sure trust and confidence which man has in God, that through the merits of Christ his sins are forgiven, and he is reconciled to God. I could not deny that both holiness and happiness were fruits of the living faith, just as he claimed. My review of the Scriptures proved this.

What I could not understand was what he spoke of as an instantaneous work. I could not understand how this faith could be given in a moment. How could one be turned from sin and misery into righteousness and joy in the Holy Spirit instantaneously?

I returned to the Scriptures to search this point again. I particularly studied the Acts of the Apostles. To my utter astonishment, I found scarcely any instances of conversion except the instantaneous kind. Few were as slow as that of Paul who was three days in the labor of the new birth.

I had but one retreat left. I granted God did these things in the first age of Christianity, but times had changed. Was there any reason to believe that God works in the same way now as He did then?

The next day I was beaten out of this retreat, also. Peter brought me Christians who testified God had changed them in a moment. In a moment, they said, God had given them a living faith in Jesus. That faith transferred them from darkness into light, out of sin and fear into holiness and happiness.

Here my disputing ended. I could now only cry out,
"Lord, help my unbelief!"

My brother Charles was greatly opposed to my understanding of the living faith. It made him angry to hear me say that I did not have real faith. He called this "the new faith." However, Charles agreed to a long conversation with Peter about it. It pleased God to open Charles' eyes. He also saw clearly what the nature of the one true living faith. Through grace alone, we are saved.

Charles experienced this new living faith before I did. He was staying with a friend while sick with pleurisy. Because he was too sick to go out, several of us visited him on Sunday morning, May 21. It was Whitsunday-Pentecost Sunday. We prayed with him and left for church. Later that day, the Holy Spirit healed him and gave him the living faith in a moment.

I had continued to seek this faith, though with some strange indifference, dullness, and coldness until May 24. In the evening of that day, I went very unwillingly to a prayer meeting in Aldersgate Street. About 8:45, I was listening to a reading of Luther's preface to the Epistle to the Romans. While he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed.

I felt that I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation. An assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.

The moment I awakened the next morning, the love of Jesus, my Master, was in my heart and in my mouth. All my strength came from keeping my eyes fixed upon Him, and my soul waiting on Him continually. In church in the afternoon, I could taste the good word of God in the anthem. Its first line was,
"My song shall be always of the loving-kindness of the Lord; with my mouth will I ever be showing forth your truth one generation to another."

Yet Satan injected a fear into me.
"If you do believe, why do you not feel a greater change?"
"That I do not know. But this I know, I have now peace with God. And I do not sin today. Jesus, my Master, has forbidden me to take any thought about tomorrow."
This answer came from something deep within me. It was not me.
"But is not any sort of fear," continued the tempter, "a proof that you do not believe?"
I wanted Jesus to answer for me. I opened the Bible and my eyes fell upon the words of St. Paul,
"Without were fightings, within were fears."
This inferred that I well may have some fear within me, but I must go on treading them under my feet.

On the following Sunday, I awoke in peace, but not in joy. I remained in the same quiet state until evening. Then came the first persecution for my new faith. Many such persecutions were to follow over the years. I was roughly attacked in a large group as a fanatic, seducer, and a setter-forth of new doctrines. By the blessing of God, I was not moved to anger. After a calm and short reply, I went away.

I had preached in two churches that day. It was the last time I would be allowed to preach at either. I continued to be concerned for those who were seeking death through error in their lives.

It was my wish to visit the Germans. I wanted to be with the main body of Christians from which Peter and those whom I met on board the ship came. I was able to spend two months there. Some of this time was spent with Peter's family.

In Germany, I continually met with living proofs of the power of faith. Many persons there had been saved from inward as well as outward sin by the love of God in their hearts. They were freed from all doubt and fear by the abiding witness of the Holy Spirit who had been given them.

I heard their senior minister preach on four occasions. Each time his topic was one which I wanted to hear. Three of these sermons concerned those who are weak in faith, the ones who are saved-justified-but have not yet received the new, clean heart. They have received forgiveness through the blood of Christ, but have not received the constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

After returning from Germany, I began to declare this good news of experienced salvation. I preached as often as three times a day. I preached in the prisons to the convicted and the condemned.

One day, I saw a woman who was raving mad, screaming and tormenting herself continually. I had a strong desire to speak to her. The moment I began she became still. Tears ran down her cheeks all the time I was telling her,
"Jesus of Nazareth is able and willing to deliver you."

Those who had received this new living faith through the Holy Spirit continued to meet together. About sixty of us were holding a love feast on New Year's Eve on Fetter Lane. At about three in the morning, as we were continuing in prayer, the power of God came mightily upon us. Many cried out in complete joy. Others were knocked to the ground. As soon as we recovered a little from that awe and amazement at God's presence, we broke out in praise.
"We praise you, O God; we acknowledge you to be the Lord."

The Holy Spirit began to move among us with amazing power when we met in His name. One of the most surprising instances of His power which I ever saw happened to one of the critics. I was visiting a woman who was furious about this new faith, and zealous in opposing it. My arguments only increased her anger. I broke off the dispute and asked her to join me in prayer. She agreed and we knelt together.

In a few minutes she fell over in extreme agony, both in body and soul. Soon after she cried out with great earnestness,
"Now I know I am forgiven for Christ's sake."

A few days later I visited her again. Gathered that evening were some of her neighbors who also objected to the new faith. One man was attempting to pervert this truth. I entered into the controversy to speak on both the cause and effects of salvation. During the dispute, a woman listener fell pierced as with a sword. She left to go to another house, but began crying out while still in the street. As soon as we prayed for her forgiveness, He sent her that assurance.

These unusual works of the Holy Spirit continued to follow and bless my ministry. At Baldwin Street, I preached on the fourth chapter of Acts. Then I asked God to confirm this teaching.

Immediately one who was standing there cried out aloud as though she were in the agonies of death. As surprised as I was, I was able to continue in prayer. We prayed until she received her sense of forgiveness and could give thanks to God. Soon after that, two other persons were seized with strong pain. It was not long before they likewise burst forth into praises of God, their Savior. Finally, a stranger was overwhelmed with both joy and love. He had received forgiveness of backsliding.

At another place a young man was seized with a violent trembling all over. In a few minutes his heart was filled with sorrow, and he sank to the ground. We continued in prayer until God raised him up. He was then full of peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Later, while preaching in prison, I felt called to say that God wills all men to receive this saving faith. I called to God to bear witness to this truth. Immediately one, and another, and another, sunk to the ground. People dropped on every side as thunderstruck. One of them cried aloud. We prayed to God on her behalf, and He gave her the joy of the Holy Spirit. The same occurred with a second woman. Our prayers were answered and He gave her the peace of the Holy Spirit.

The next day the whole prison was filled with the cries of those whose hearts were being touched by God. Two of these received joy in a moment to the astonishment of the onlookers.

We knew many were offended by the cries of those on whom the power of God came. One so offended was a physician who was afraid these cases involved either fraud or mistake. In one of my services, he stood next to an acquaintance of many years. His acquaintance broke out in strong cries and tears.

The physician could hardly believe his own eyes and ears. He stood close to observe every symptom. Great drops of sweat ran down her face and all her bones shook. He did not know what to think, being convinced it was neither fraud nor any natural disorder. When both her body and soul were healed in a moment, he admitted it to be the work of God.

Many continued to be offended, even more than before. Later at Baldwin Street my voice could hardly be heard due to the groaning and cries of those calling to God to save. A Quaker stood by very displeased at the confusion. He was biting his lips and knitting his brows. Suddenly he went down as thunderstruck. He appeared to be in terrible agony.

We prayed to God to forgive him of his mistake. Soon he lifted his head and cried aloud,
"Now I know you are a prophet of the Lord."

Similar experiences continued to increase as I preached. It seemed prudent to preach and write on the work of the Holy Spirit. Many of these sermons were published. The published sermons include the doctrines which I usually preached. All of the following sermons are from those basic doctrines.

Culled from, "The Holy Spirit and Power" by John Wesley (Rewritten and Updated by Dr. Larry Keefauver and Clare Weakley); pp15-28. Nigerian edition published by Joint Heirs Publications Nigeria Limited, Benin, Nigeria. Copyright: 2003 by Bridge-Logos, Copyright: 1976 by Logos International.

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